Back to School, A Survivor’s Reflection

Grad. School Week One – check! check! check!

I did it! I finally started.

I say finally because I’ve been considering going back to school for years. Something small happened this year. A tiny event that I could have (would have at any other time) just let go of and moved on from. But, for some reason, this time was different, and I finally decided – just go. And, here I am, at the end of the beginning of this new adventure.

Being back in school was frustrating, and intimidating, and completely overwhelming, but it was also stimulating and exciting. This week, I was pushed in a way that I haven’t been in a very long time. And that scares me, because I’m not naive enough to think that this introduction back into academia was truly difficult. It was only difficult in that it was completely new, and I don’t like being new.

Except that I do.

I love being new. I love change, and I love a challenge. I love being uncomfortable and stretched. I just have to remind myself of that when I’m right in the middle of it. What I don’t like, is feeling unprepared and making mistakes, and I made a lot of mistakes this week.

Thoughts from the week:

  • I am going to have to overcome my discomfort with Twitter.
  • I love being back in school.
  • I’m crazy for being back in school.
  • I’m incapable of being back in school.
  • I can’t possibly teach while I’m doing this.
  • What do you mean, I got that wrong?! That was totally right!
  • I truly hate the Oxford comma, no matter what APA says about it.
  • Is this good enough?
  • Am I good enough?

In the future, perhaps my post will be a bit more content rich. But, for today, I’m exhausted, and all I want to do is curl up with a book – and maybe close my eyes for just a minute.

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