Checking My Attitude

This week, I’m coming to the end of my first grad. school class. It’s been a challenging ending, certainly not because of school.

When I enrolled in school, I already had a family vacation planned. So, I spent the beginning of the summer working very hard to get well ahead on my school work. But, I hadn’t planned for the unexpected. While we were in Disney, our pet sitter called. A pipe in our guest bathroom burst, and water flooded our home overnight and well into the next day. The entire house was flooded with ankle deep water. It is a complete wreck. Then, just to make things a little easier – I fell. I sprained my foot and my ankle and couldn’t walk or drive for a week. We are living with my in laws for who knows how long, and have spend the last three weeks hobbling between houses, meeting with insurance adjusters and contractors. It’s been a challenge, that’s for sure.

Keeping up with grad school work and preparing for the upcoming school year have been difficult. I’ve gotten overwhelmed. There have been tears. When I turned in my first late assignment, I felt like a complete failure.

But, today, I read an article for school, “Are We Modeling What We Expect,” by Gloria Meraz, and it was just the wake up call I needed. This article isn’t about checking your attitude during a house flood – but it is about checking your attitude. It is about being careful about where you let your thoughts dwell, and what you focus on.

I did turn in an assignment late. My grade will reflect that. But, that isn’t a reflection of who I am  or what I’ve learned this semester. This one late grade isn’t going to make me a terrible librarian.

My house flooded. But we have insurance and a loving, generous family who have been going out of their way to support us. I have a bed to put my child in every single night. I have the insurance I need to replace much of what we lost, and the rest are only things.

I’m heading back to school, and it’s going to be challenging. I’ll be taking two grad. school classes for the first time while I’m teaching. I’m not living at home. It’s not going to be perfect. There are going to be difficult days. But, I’m going to work to focus not on my limitations, not on my challenges, but on what I can do, what I can offer. And, I’m going to let myself off the hook for what I can’t.

 

Photo by Levi XU on Unsplash

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